On Criticism
Several years ago, a friend of mine was going through a season of unfair criticism. My advice to him was this: “If you were as bad as they say you are, you would not have a job. If you were as good as you think you are, this wouldn’t be happening.” In other words, we have to learn to accept what's true in criticism and grow from it. Further, we have to learn to move on past criticism without being internally crushed by it, bullied into inaction, or hardened and calloused by it.
I hate criticism. I hate criticism because I do not like to think about my own sins, limitations, and mistakes. I’ve been a pastor for over a decade now, so I have experienced the criticism on every end of the spectrum: I’ve been accurately criticized (I needed it!), unfairly criticized, and even falsely criticized and slandered. On the other side of the coin, I’ve been authentically encouraged (I needed it!), flattered, and over-credited. For all the words I have heard, however, I am thankful for how the Gospel speaks a better word.
The Gospel Says the Worst Possible Thing About You
This doesn't sound like something to be grateful for, but it is an important reality. You are exposed already. If you are in Christ, you have been put outside the camp and the filth and wickedness of your heart has been shown to the whole world. That is, He who knew no sin became sin on your behalf (2 Cor 5:21). The Gospel crushes our sense of self-righteousness and frees us to cling to Christ and Christ alone. As Spurgeon said, “Brother, if any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him; for you are worse than he thinks you to be." We are freed from slavery to criticism and flattery through the truth of the Gospel. We do not have to scramble to prove we are not wicked or to prove we are not bad in a certain way or even to prove that we are perfect because the worst possible thing has already been spoken about us at the cross and we believe and confess that it is true.
The Gospel Says the Best Possible Thing About You.
2 Corinthians 5:21 keeps going: "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." Yes, you are a sinner and something damning is true of you, but there's also a truth about you that's better than anything else that could ever be said about you. You are beloved of God, made in His image, purchased by the blood of His Son, and perfectly, gloriously righteous before the Lord because the perfect, sinless record of the Lord Jesus has been imputed to you. We are freed from slavery to criticism and flattery here as well. We do not have to scramble to prove how good we are because nothing can be said about the Christian that exceeds the glorious truth our Lord has spoken about us at the cross. You are justified, you are loved, and you do not need man to say it.
I hope this helps you see how criticism cannot be your god. I have pored over anonymous letters, off-handed comments, and senses of inadequacy more times than I can count. However, what keeps me sane in ministry--and, frankly, has simply kept me in ministry altogether--is the reality that Christ has been crucified and resurrected on my behalf and no man can say something worse or better about me than Jesus has already said. This Gospel focus helps us deal with criticism in an appropriate way. Here are four small things that might help you as you navigate these tough waters.
Four Points of Application
1. Learn
In order to learn, you need someone in your life who can speak honestly to you. Ask a trusted friend and advisor to evaluate the criticism with you to determine what is true about it. Sometimes I fear that we are too much like Kanye West: "I don't take advice from people less successful than me." That is a way, of course, to move on from criticism but unfortunately it is through self-sufficiency and pride. Instead, we ought to humbly consider how God is using criticism--even if it is unfair or from a source you would not seek advice from--to form us into the image of His Son.
2. Move On
After you have learned what you need to learn, it's time to move on. It can be easy to dwell on criticism in unhealthy ways. Sometimes, that is precisely what critics want you to do. Whether they want you to be miserable, to be paralyzed into a lame duck leader, or to simply go find another job, it is no man's prerogative to put anyone in those positions. Only God can do that. So, look to Jesus, who endured such hostility from sinners, and be heartened as you walk down a difficult path. Don't dwell there; look to Christ, and find freedom to move on from criticism.
3. Guard Your Heart
I am sure there are more, but I think seasons of criticism produce three distinct temptations. First, you have to guard your heart from cowardice. It is easy to collapse under the weight of criticism and, like a scalded dog, refuse to lead in order to avoid more criticism. Unless God frees you from your calling, this is a cowardly--even if understandable--response. Many ministries have been sidelined through cowardly responses. However, there's another temptation--the temptation of the hardened heart. I have seen some men use unfair criticism as a shield from all criticism. They thus become autocrats with hardened hearts and take any criticism as negative and unhelpful. Finally, I have seen the "manifest destiny" temptation. That is, I have seen folks use unfair criticism as an opportunity to embrace that which they are falsely accused of. I suppose once you've weathered the critique of an action or attitude, it becomes easier to embrace it. In all three of these temptations, it is essential to live before God knowing He is the final judge and the keeper of your soul. Flee these temptations by guarding your heart by God's grace.
4. Win Them Over
The Scripture tells us that inasmuch as it depends on us, "live at peace with all men." I like to think through and pray through ways to gain my brother or sister in the midst of criticism. It does not always work that way, but there are still some stories the Lord has yet to finish writing. The Scripture paints a picture of a desire for redemption even among those who have been wronged. It is essential to always keep an eye toward redemption even with the harshest and most unfair of critics.
I hope as you encounter criticism you will be able to walk through it in a balanced, biblical way. If you were as bad as they say you are, you wouldn't be where you are. But if you were as good as you think you are, you wouldn't receive criticism at all. Continue to walk the Gospel road that says you are a wicked sinner that has been made gloriously righteous through the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. There's freedom there, and you'll never walk there alone.
Lagniappe
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“A Pledge of Safety"
Genesis 43-44
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I’d love to hear your thoughts on criticism or anything else. What has the Lord taught you through criticism? Thanks for subscribing and reading. I look forward to hearing from you!
Thank you!!
This is a good word on criticism. For those of us who do not take criticism well, this is a great perspective to develop. Thank you for the reminder, encouragement and authenticity.